Reprinted without permission from KERRANG!, February 22, 1997

Quizmaster: Morat

This week's contestant is...

Name: Kim Thayil
Occupation: Guitarist from Soundgarden
Specialist subject: the Superunknown

1. What is the name of Clint Eastwood's character in the spaghetti western For A Few Dollars More?

Kim Thayil: The man with no name

2. Where in the world would you find the Sears Tower?

KT: Chicago, Illinois

3. What is acrophobia a fear of?

KT: Aracnophobia's a fear of spiders. Agoraphobia's a fear of going outside. So acro...I don't know. Fear of heights?

Kerrang: Bugger!

4. Which two members of The Black Crowes are brothers?

KT: The singer and the guitarist. The Robinson brothers.

5. Name the Fonz's three sidekicks in Happy Days.

KT: Richie, Pottsy, Ralph Malph...And there was Chachi - he was a nephew of Fonzie, or something. He came along later.

6. Name five films starring Bruce Willis.

KT: The three Die Hard Movies. There was the Moonlighting TV series, but I don't know if that counts.

Kerrang: Nope.

KT: Okay, Pulp Fiction. And he was in Twelve Monkeys.

7. In which Dickens' novel would you find the ghost of Jacob Marley?

KT: A Christmas Carol.

Kerrang: Smartarse!

8. Name Prince Charles and Princess Diana's two children.

Matt Cameron: (from the other side of the room) William and Henry!

Kerrang: Sir, help from the sidelines is forbidden. And it's William and Harry, actually.

KT: I don't think I'd have got Harry.

MC: Actually, Henry is Harry's real name.

Kerrang: Double bugger!

9. In what year was President John F Kennedy assassinated?

MC: 1962

Kerrang: Look, we're warning you. Go off and play your drums or something.

KT: No, it's '63. Lyndon Johnson took over in '64.

10. In which film did Henry Rollins appear alongside Al Pacino and Robert De Niro?

MC: That was Heat.

Kerrang: Next interruption will cost your mate a point.

KT: Right...Henry was in another movie with those guys from the Chili Peppers, too. Or wasn't that Heat, where he played a cop?

Kerrang: No, next...

11. In which city would you find St Mark's Square?

KT: New York

Kerrang: It says Venice here.

KT: There's one in New York too.

MC: It's St Mark's Place in New York.

Kerrang: Thank you. No points...

12. What was the cowboy William H Bonney better known as?

MC: Wild Bill Hickcock.

Kerrang: You said that without moving your lips, Kim. And it's wrong.

13. What kind of animal is a loach?

KT: A kind of rodent? A bird? A fish!

14. What is Reuters?

KT: It's a news agency. European, I think.

15. Spell 'rhododendron'.

KT: R-H-O-D-E-D-E-N-D-R-O-N.

Kerrang: Oh dear, one letter out...

KT: I had this picture of Rhodesia. They call them Rhodies. I've got them in my yard.

MC: They don't have any in California, they're all in Washington.

16. Santa Fe is the capital of which US state?

KT: New Mexico.

Ben Shepherd: (wandering through the room) Is this an IQ test?

Kerrang: It's the Kerrang Challenge. Anyone else?

MC: What's the challenge?

Kerrang: At present, to shut you up.

17. Hymen was the Greek god of what?

KT: Virginity? Virtue?

MC: The Greek god of a thin layer of skin.

KT: man, I know my mythology. And you go and ask me to spell rhododendron and what kind of animal a loach is!

Kerrang: Whatever. You got the mythology question wrong...

18. What was Elvis Presley's middle name?

KT: Aaron

19. France borders which country to the south?

KT: Spain

20. Which city's stock exchange is based on the Dow Jones index?

KT: New York

21. In which decade was Bruce Springsteen born?

KT: The 50's. Or maybe the late 40's. Yeah, late 40's. he was born to rock 'n' roll!

22. Which meat would you associate with the deadly bacteria salmonella?

KT: Chicken. Actually, you can get salmonella from frogs and salamanders too.

Kerrang: You shouldn't really be eating those...

KT: But if you're a kid and you're playing with them and you lick your fingers...Or put a salamander in your mouth and slip it around.

23. Where in a man would you find his urethra?

KT: In the hole in his dick.

24. What is a Dutch Cap?

KT: I don't know. A flower? A weed?

25. Who wrote Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory?

KT: Roald Dahl. He wrote James And The Giant Peach too. And it's Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory was what they called the movie, because they started merchandising Willy Wonka gear...

MC: So he gets an extra point because the question you gave him was wrong.

KT: Unless you want to know who wrote the screenplay, in which case I don't know...

Kerrang: Oh, forget it...


20 OUT OF 25


Frankly, a let-down - we wanted the full monty from the 'Garden's Mad professor. And he had illegal help from drummer Matt Cameron.